Remembering loved ones at Matariki
Special dates and times of celebration can prove to be particularly challenging when we have said goodbye to, or are grieving, loved ones who have passed. Acknowledging them and remembering them at the time of Matariki can be particularly meaningful.
Matariki dips below the horizon during an evening around May, disappearing from our view until it returns in June or July in the dawn sky. When we see Matariki, we speak the names of the loved ones who have passed during the year, releasing them to the stars.
This is a beautiful tribute to those we love.
Here are some other special activities for remembering loved ones that can be lovely at the time of Matariki:
These are non-traditional acts of remembrance, but have provided meaningful connection to our loved ones, reverence during Matariki and through grief.
(If you want to learn more of our story, you can read “A goodbye gifted Matariki to me”).
DISPLAY THEIR PHOTOGRAPH:
Place a photograph of your loved one in a special area of your home, light a candle nearby, place flowers, crystals, of harakeke stars nearby, celebrating their life, remembering them at Matariki.
PLANT A TREE:
The basic, simple, and probably the best alternative to commemorating someone or something is by planting a tree on behalf of the person/thing. Choose a native plant is best, or a tree or plant that flowers at certain time of year around the time of Matariki or the loved ones anniversary.
LIGHT A CANDLE:
Buying a beautiful candle that can be lit year after year on a day of remembrance is a lovely acknowledgement to a loved one. We also love the ritual of rolling our own candles every Matariki.
> See Matariki candle rolling kit.
SCATTER NATURAL CONFETTI:
Instead of plastic confetti that you can buy from stores. Instead, make your own natural confetti from dry leaves, birdseed, or flower petals. You can use a hole punch to make confetti shapes, collect and store in a dry container, and blow or throw confetti with your wishes and memories.
> View this star shaped hole punch
GIFT FORGET-ME-NOTS:
This flowers name says it all. Gift a plant or forget-me-not seeds to someone who is bereaved. Each time they pass these flowers, or even see them out in nature, it will remind them, or you, of your loved one.
> Shop seeds – These forget-me-not seeds come with a special card
RISE AT DAWN TO GREET MATARIKI:
Spend time under the starry skies. Speak to you loved ones. Speak the names of those who have passed.
MAKE HARAKEKE STARS:
Make some harakeke stars to gift to someone who is grieving their loved one, or make some for yourself, keeping them in a special place with a photograph, candle, crystal or special items. It is lovely to return them to Papatūānuku with blessing at the end of the season, to enable you to make another each Matariki or anniversary of their passing.
> Instructions to make harakeke stars here
LISTEN TO WAIATA:
Music is a powerful healer. It can express emotions we can quite find the words for. It can release sadness, find connection and blessing amongst grief. Sing, or listen to music that reminds you of your loved ones.
WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR LOVED ONE:
Writing to your loved one can be a healing act, can make you feel close to them. It can be emotional thing to do, but is a beautiful act of remembrance, and also, an act of healing, allowing all emotions to be present, alongside loving memories.
TAKE WALKS IN NATURE SPACES:
Are there any places that remind you of your loved one? Spend time there through Matariki, or near their anniversary. Spending time outdoors in the forest or near the ocean invites us to contemplate how all things are connected – in the forest, decomposing trees support new life; while the vast horizon of the ocean can make us feel we are part of something much greater. These connections can bring our hearts closer to our loved ones who have passed. Nature is a great healer.
REMEMBRANCE WISH PAPER:
This is how it works: you write your wish on special, prepared paper, then light it on fire and watch it fly up, burn away and float back down to your hand. Equally as meaningful as a balloon release, or flying wish lanterns without the damaging impact on our environment and wildlife.
You can buy ready made kits or make your own.
> Instructions to make your own flying wish paper here
MAKE A STAR MOBILE:
Cut out star shapes on card, write messages, paste photos, or note memories of your loved ones. Hang these special stars from thread, hang from a stick and display as a mobile in a special spot.
BUBBLES IN THE SKY:
Letting off balloons or Sky Lanterns can be moving, but has effect on our environment such as tangling birds and killing sea life.
Bubbles don’t leave any environmental impact of balloons, but retain the floaty element as they lift to the heavens.
You can buy bubble mix, or make your own chemical free version.
CONNECT WITH, OR PLANT KAWAKAWA:
Kawakawa is a special plant to Maori and many who live in Aotearoa NZ. It is said that when the world was created, Kawakawa was a gift to Ranginui / Sky Father and Papatuanuku / Earth Mother to heal them as they were pushed apart to make space for the light in between them. Because of this gift, Kawakawa is said to contain all the healing properties of all the native plants. Kawakawa was used with karakia in special ceremonies, at tangi’s / funerals, and worn as a wreath around the bereaved persons head. This rakau / plant is infused with meaning and medicinal and energetic healing properties. It is a special plant to consider planting at the time of Matariki, in memory of a loved one.
I hope this list inspires some special activities for you as you remember your loved ones, gone but not forgotten.
I’m sorry that you have had to say goodbye. My heart knows too well that it is hard. I do wish you sacred, meaningful moments as your heart grieves and heals. Aroha from my heart to yours.
Tina xx
Here are more resources you may like to know about:
A STORY OF MATARIKI AND GRIEF – A goodbye brought Matariki to me – this is my story of Matariki and grief, shared for other hearts who have lost too.
MATARIKI CELEBRATION IDEAS – Here are some Matariki celebration ideas – many ways to create meaning and tradition with tamariki and whānau.
MATARIKI CRAFTS FOR KIDS – These Matariki crafts can be a lovely inclusion in your Matariki celebrations, we speak of loved ones as our hands are busy, bringing memories and lasting traditions to whānau.
Make sure you check out these Matariki celebration ideas, or consider some of these Matariki craft activities to bring to your memories and traditions.
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